Monday, 15 December 2014

A new maid

This is my new maid, the long-awaited replacement for Belladonna.  Her name is Basil.  No, that's not a typo, you heard me correctly: Basil.  Basil Wiggleswade.  She dresses like that all the time.

She speaks like a Cockney chimney-sweep.  I appointed her as cleaner and general dogsbody.  She hasn't got a clue, I think her brain has come unglued.  Yesterday, she tried to clean the toilet with the vacuum cleaner.
The bloody wench caused a mini-explosion.  I could throttle the woman, and it's only her first day.  When asked to do a simple task like make my morning cup of tea, she retorted that she didn't know how to.  Where did the agency get this woman from?  Mars?
 She's currently on her probation period and living in the luxury staff quarters, which is befitting of her role.

Basil's wages are 20 drachma a week, based on a 90 hour week.


  1. Where on Earth did you get this one from and did she come with references? She has a look of my first maid Slopbucket, she used to 'do' at Queen Ethelburga's college and at the end of her 14 hour shift she was allowed to take home the discarded crusts from the cucumber sandwiches, when I employed her, she was allowed to drink as much tap water as she liked.

    1. I hired her on the strength of her e-bay recommendations. It turned out they were all written by herself. Maybe that was my fatal mistake! She belches like a bullfrog! Your first maid, Slopbucket, sounds a dream by comparison. And you fed her the crusts of cucumber sandwiches... you certainly spoiled her!

      Mitzi, it makes me weep the amount of suffering I have had from hiring the wrong type of maid. Finding a good maid is a capricious affair.. a bit like trying to find hens' teeth!